Anyone who has had back surgery or a Doctor please help. Very difficult decision to make.?

I have a grade 2-3 spodylothesis at the level of L5 S1. There is also severe spinal stenosis at that level. (For lay people,my 5th lumbar vertebrae has been displaced approx 35-40% forward and the space for my spinal cord has been narrowed). Needless to say, this causes me great discomfort and pain with pain and numbness in my legs. I do not even feel if I hurt my feet or legs most of the time. I have been treated for the past 3 yrs with epidural injections of anesthetic and steroid. Obviously there needs to be surgical intervention to stabilize the area. Now it is getting to the time when I believe that a decision needs to be made soon, as the treatments are no longer helping. I am just shy of 5 ft and 100lbs. Due to my size and the amount of displacement they need to go in through my abdomen to stabilize 4 vertebrae with hardware and do a bone graft using a piece of my hip. I am so very scared. What I need to know is what the general consensus is for the surgery actually helping, the healing time and any complications past the re-cooperation time. Also, how seriously are the adjacent vertebrae affected after the fusion has taken place. Thanks for taking the time for my rambling, my doctor has answered some of my questions, but is not very forthcoming with actual statistics from his experience . Thank you so much in advance for your help.